Blog Day Mondays

So, I committed to starting a blog...and then had no time to write it. I am no longer going to use the excuse, "there are not enough hours in the day" because there really are enough....I'm just terrible at using them wisely. Feel free to chime in with your experiences, fellow freelancers...but when you don't have a 9 to 5 schedule, a boss breathing down your back, or a executive meeting to get you out of bed in the morning, some days are just plain difficult. You can't seem to light that proverbial fire under your proverbial ass. That, combined with the fact that I am naturally a procrastinator, I always end up in the same position - too much to do and not enough time to do it.

So what kept me from writing the past couple weeks? A business proposal deadline for a new teaching program, teaching, developing a new trapeze act for a show, performing two shows, and moving to a new apartment (why are we New Yorkers ALWAYS moving?). The lines between my personal life and my job are so blurred that getting consumed by work is almost as easy as breathing. But in working for myself, I am learning so much about who I am and what I really want. Lately, I've had a little voice that's starting to well up inside me saying, "find balance again", "let that pendulum settle somewhere in the middle." I want to spend more time with my best friend without having to pencil her in for 5 minutes in between one job and the next. I want time to volunteer with someone less fortunate than I. I want time to call my parents on the phone and say more than just "hi, I'm too tired to talk, just wanted to make sure you're alive." I want time to sit in a garden somewhere and not have a plan. What is the key to gaining that balance? Learning to manage my time better would be a good first step; putting deadlines on everything I do. And my first deadline? Blog Day Mondays. Every Monday I will publish my blog. If I stay on track with that, who knows, it might just set the tone for adding more discipline to other aspects of my life...

Success is not served on a silver platter

When you find what you love and make it your living, there is no such thing as "business is business". Too much is invested. Your heart is spewing out of every project, your passion is driving every hour of the day, your soul is splattered on the stage, or the canvas, or whatever your medium might be. If you teach, and you love teaching, your students are certainly not walking paychecks, or stepping stones to get ahead. When you do what you love and make it your living, there-within lies the risk. When projects fail, when you don't get appreciated, when your efforts hit a wall, when you don't make that audition, or your performance falls dead on delivery, there is virtually no way to write it off as just a job. It hits you at the core. And what I am learning, as all artists are forced to do, is not to let those moments derail you. It's the art of toughening up without becoming cold. It's adapting and evolving without losing your identity. It's finding the other door, when the one you had your eye on slams shut in front of you.

Passion and drive are not enough to become successful in this business. It takes a lot of work. Miserable work. Tedious work. And it means putting yourself out there, fearlessly, no matter how many obstacles get thrown in your path. And this is my lesson today, as I attempt to grow and find new ways to make a living. You can't just sit back and expect work to flow in or to be appreciated for what you do. And when conflict arises, you can't let your boss deal with it, because you are your own boss. For all those who look to "live the dream," make sure you arm yourself with lots of sugar, because you will have to contend with lots of lemon storms before you get your lemonade.

Zarkana Dress Rehearsal

So, one of the great perks of working for a circus is getting invited to Cirque du Soleil's dress rehearsal before the big premiere. Last night, I, along with 20 other students and colleagues, spent the evening at Radio City Music Hall, for Cirque's new show, Zarkana." My take? Definitely worth seeing.

Overall, the talent isn't top notch like most of the other cirque shows, but there are definitely some stand out acts worth the ticket price. Most notably, the ladder balancers, who are just insane...I will leave it at that. For all my aerialist friends out there, there was a pretty solid flying duo corde act. Nothing groundbreaking - basically take a duo flying silks act, and do it with corde...nothing we all couldn't do :). The show also features the wheel of death, an edge of your seat, adrenaline-inducing act...but if you've seen Kooza, you might be disappointed. Another favorite of mine was the flag juggling act. Jugglers filled the stage and tossed giant white flags in the air in amazing configurations. All around mesmorizing. Other acts included cyr wheel, flying trapeze, Russian bar, handbalancing...really the show had it all. They couldn't have packed in more variety. And with such variety, they really lost the story-line. It wasn't apparent at all. But honesty, who goes to Cirque for the story-line? They should probably give up trying at this point.

The music was unlike Cirque's signature non-language styles. It was all English lyrics and was belted out broadway-style. They did a good job incorporating the vocalists into the acts, by suspending them mid-air along with the other performers. The male vocalist was soothing and the female lead was shrill, kindof nails on a chalkboard after a while.

As a theater show, contrary to Wintuk and Banana Schpeel, which were met with horrible reviews, this show stands a real chance at a long, successful run here in the Big Apple. The producers really made the most of the theater space by engineering complex set changes, multimedia, and special effects. Cirque, you did again. You inspired me to keep going, keep developing, keep auditioning, keep dreaming.